


I'm Not Gonna Teach Your Boyfriend How to Dance With You

by castielanderson



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-02-19
Updated: 2013-02-19
Packaged: 2017-11-29 19:41:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,891
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/690713
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/castielanderson/pseuds/castielanderson
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's your typical unrequited love triangle.  Cas is in love with Dean, but Dean's dating Benny.  Cas has lost all hope here, and worried that he's quickly becoming completely invisible to Dean, he enlists the help of Gabriel, Anna, and Sam, who decide a makeover is the best way to go.  However, Dean and Benny have issues between them that nobody could have taken into account, and operation "Make Cas So Attractive Dean Jumps Him in the Middle of the Crowd" might just end in disaster.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I'm Not Gonna Teach Your Boyfriend How to Dance With You

Ugh, Benny.

Benny Lafitte.

Cas’ lip curls as he stares at the guy in all his stupid, stylish hipster glory.  For some reason, every girl in school thinks the new Southern transfer student is a positive angel, but Cas is personally nauseated by him and his dumb accent.  Cas doesn’t notice he’s been squishing his soda can until it nicks his palm.  He sucks in a breath through his teeth as he drops it onto his lunch tray, tearing his eyes away from Benny.

Currently, the “adorkable” – Jo’s words, not his – douchebag is sitting across the lunchroom, making heart eyes at one Dean Winchester.  It probably wouldn’t annoy Cas as much if Dean wasn’t making heart eyes back, and if they weren’t holding hands under the table, and if they didn’t also happen to  be disgustingly-in-love boyfriends.

Cas is looking again, and he wants to smack himself.  He has to stop doing this to himself – and Dean.  He should be happy for Dean, he knows, but he can’t be.  Because while they might be okay now, three months ago, Dean showed up on Cas’ doorstep with puffy, red eyes and a cut on his hand from the broken picture frame he’d smashed.  Cas had let him inside and snuck him up to his room, and after a half hour of crying into Cas’ shoulder while Cas held him, Dean finally explained that he found out Benny had cheated on him. 

They’d worked it out of course, and Cas was glad.  Dean had stopped moping around and was smiling and laughing again, and Cas thought it was the closure that had done it.  But then Cas showed up for a study date at Dean’s house, only to find them making out in the living room and well, needless to say, they’d more than worked out their issues.

Now, Cas would like to say he’s just being a good friend, but that’s less than the truth.  Sure, he’s worried about Dean getting hurt again, but he has his own selfish reasons to hate Benny Lafitte.  The truth is, Cas has been in love with Dean since around seventh grade when problems beyond his control plagued his family and his father left without a backwards glance, sending his older siblings falling into a downward spiral.  The only ones left now are Cas, Gabriel, and Anna.  When all of that happened, Dean was there for him, there to comfort him and share his own stories, and Cas couldn’t help falling in love with him.

It was agony at first, knowing full well since a young age that there was something different about him, and discovering the truth later on – that he was gay.  For years, Cas was on his own, crushing hopelessly on his seemingly straight best friend.  Then high school rolled around, and Cas finally came out once things were okay with his family.  The bullying sucked at first, but soon enough, Cas blended into the background, slowly falling out of everyone’s radar.

Dean was the opposite.

He rose in popularity, juggling Student Council, track, and theater, all while dating every girl on the cheerleading squad.  Things changed in sophomore year, when Dean’s father died of alcohol poisoning, and he was seriously forced to reevaluate himself and his life.  Through all of that mess, all of that grief and anxiety and confusion, Dean was able to become comfortable with who he really was, and he came out too – as bisexual.

And here we are now, with Benny transferring in the fall and setting his eyes on Dean right off the bat.  Benny had asked Dean to homecoming, and they’d been together ever since, save for their rocky, three-week split in January.  It’s now April, and Cas is beyond ready for Dean to realize he deserves so much better than this jerk he puts up with.  (He’s beyond ready for Dean to realize that someone else is ready to treat him the way he deserves – someone who happens to be his best friend of nearly ten years).

But Dean doesn’t realize, and he won’t, because he barely even notices Cas anymore, and if they weren’t friends already, Cas is pretty sure Dean wouldn’t even know he exists.  So he sits by himself at lunch, glowering at his best friend’s boyfriend from across the cafeteria, thinking up plenty of creative ways to get him expelled from school and/or run out of a town.  Of course, he could probably still somehow worm Dean into joining him, whatever happened.

“Torturing yourself again?”

Cas looks up as Gabriel and Anna slide into either seat beside him.

“I can’t help it,” he sighs, stabbing angrily at his pasta.  “That jackass doesn’t – _deserve_ – Dean.”  He punctuates each word with a stab, slamming his fork down on the table when he’s finished.

Anna heaves a deep breath, reaching out and resting a hand on Cas’ shoulder.  “He’s really not a bad guy, you know.”

“He _cheated_ , Anna.  And yesterday after track, Dean and I were walking back to the locker rooms when I saw him chatting it up with Aaron Bass – yeah, the guy he cheated on Dean with?  I managed to distract Dean so he wouldn’t see, but I hope Benny doesn’t think I’ll just let that go.”

“They’re friends, Cas,” Anna points out.  “It shouldn’t surprise you that Benny and Aaron talk.  Besides, Aaron has a boyfriend from some art school in Chicago.  He’s doing _a lot_ better than Benny.”

“And so could Dean,” Cas grumbles.

“Look, it’s sweet that you care, Cas,” Anna starts carefully.  “But I’m sure Dean can take care of himself.  Stop worrying, okay?”

Cas sighs again, resigned.

Anna’s wrong, so very, very wrong.  Because Dean’s always done this, always settled for someone who doesn’t care half as much as he does.  Dean’s never thought very highly of himself, and it fucking kills Cas to see him hurt himself over and over when he could have so much better.  Really, Cas isn’t saying he’d be the best thing for Dean.  He’s flaky, and shy, and struggles with the same self-esteem issues, but for God’s sake, he’s at least better than _Benny Lafitte_.

He looks up again – just in time to see Benny pressing a light kiss to Dean’s mouth, and Dean grins as he pulls away, laughing.  Cas decides it’s time to dump his tray and head to his next class.

And maybe vomit on the way there.

.

.

Cas walks, resigned, out to his car.  The school day’s finally over, and he can stop pretending like he isn’t boiling with anger every second he’s forced to share oxygen with Benny Lafitte.  As he weaves through the parking lot, loud voices reach his ears.  He looks around until he spots Dean and (who else?) Benny standing by Dean’s car.

Benny’s standing with his arms crossed, jaw tight.  Dean’s in a position that seems to be more defensive as he pats his chest, shouting something Cas can’t make out.  Cas ducks a little, hiding behind a pickup truck as he watches.  He struggles a little as he takes the scene in, caught somewhere between joy and an aching sadness for Dean. 

Benny says something now, and it almost appears as if he bares his teeth.  Dean takes a step back then, saying something calmly.  Benny takes that as a cue to step forward, shoving his face close to Dean’s.  He turns when he’s finished, storming away from Dean.  When he’s out of sight, Cas dares to come out of his hiding spot, eyes on Dean – who looks stricken and confused.

Carefully, Cas approaches him. 

“Dean?”

He looks up to find Cas, and then gives himself a shake.  “Hi - hey  Cas,” he says, quiet.

All happiness disappears as soon as Cas hears the sad tone in his voice.  Dean forces a smile, but the obvious falsity of it makes Cas’ heart ache.  He’s starting to feel angry, starting to feel hatred burn even stronger, but he pushes it back, focusing on Dean.

“Listen,” Dean starts, and Cas does.  He always does.  “I – I’m gonna have to cancel on you for our movie night, I’m sorry.  I’ve – I’ve got a lot going on with schoolwork, and the dance next week is really killing Student Council – “

“Say no more,” Cas says, holding up a hand.  “I understand, Dean – it’s fine.” 

But it’s not, it’s really not.  Because Cas knows what other things Dean didn’t mention, knows there are things going on that Dean won’t tell him because it’s not Cas’ business even though it is because his best friend is hurting.  But Cas won’t press, because Dean wouldn’t want him to.  He’ll just be the silent best friend like he always is, waiting in the wings to be there when and only when Dean needs him.

“I’m sorry,” Dean repeats, and Cas waves it off.

“We can always reschedule,” he reassures.

Dean sighs, giving Cas a clap on the shoulder before reaching down to open his car door.  “You’re always so understanding.  Thanks, man.  I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Yeah.  I’ll see you,” Cas says, stepping away as Dean starts his car.

He wants to know what’s going on so badly, but again – according to everyone and their mother, it’s not Cas’ business.  Not even when his best friend is in pain.  So he’ll just shut up and wait and let Dean talk when and if he wants.

But that doesn’t mean he won’t be upset about it. 

Once Dean pulls out of the parking lot, Cas turns and kicks the tire of the car closest to him, and immediately regrets it.

.

.

Dean doesn’t say anything.  He and Benny don’t sit practically on top of each other during study hall anymore.  They don’t hold hands in the hallway, and they don’t make heart eyes at each other during lunch – in fact, they sit silently, not looking at one another.

Cas wants to do a victory dance most of the time, because it’s only inevitable that they’ll split for good, but he’ll catch Dean’s eye during class to see the sadness that hides so clearly behind his smile, and he can’t bring himself to do it.  Spring formal is coming, and so many happy couples are flaunting about, but Dean’s left trying to salvage a relationship that’s doomed to fail.  And honestly, Cas has been praying for said relationship to fail, but now that it’s happening, he feels terrible.

“So you going?” Gabriel asks, Sunday night after dinner.

“Where?” Cas asks, not even glancing up from his textbook.

“Spring formal,” Gabriel replies, as if it was entirely too obvious.  “I’m going.  Maybe this time around I can finally successfully spike the punch.”

Cas snorts.  “Good luck with that.  Principal Henriksen will have you in the office before you’ve even pulled the alcohol out of your jacket.”

“Don’t avoid the question,” Gabriel says, and Cas sighs.  “You going or not?”

“Not,” Castiel replies firmly.

“Why not?”

“I don’t want to talk to about it,” Cas says, and urges Gabriel silently to listen to him.  Of course, he doesn’t.

“Aw, come on,” he says, jumping down from the counter and walking over to where Cas sits slouched at the kitchen table.  “Tell me.  Come on, Cas.  Tell me.”

“No,” Cas says, obviously irritated.  “I don’t want to talk about it, Gabriel.  Please leave me alone.”

Gabriel slides into the seat across from him, ducking his head so he can attempt to look at Cas’ face. 

“It’s Dean, isn’t it?”

Cas closes his eyes, letting out a huff of breath.  He puts his pencil down, and slowly, he sits up straight.  Opening his eyes, he gives Gabriel the harshest glare he can manage. 

“Of course it is,” he says quietly.  “It’s Dean and his stupid boyfriend and how he’s so oblivious to everything.  To his boyfriend not being faithful to him, to me being head over heels in love with him, to how amazing he is and how much he deserves that he doesn’t realize because he’s so fucking stupid.”

Cas sighs heavily again.

“Or maybe he’s not oblivious.  Maybe it’s just me he doesn’t notice, because I’m me.  And nobody notices Castiel Milton because he’s a loser and a weirdo with ugly glasses and a closet full of sweater vests.”

“Hey, you don’t always wear sweater vests,” Gabriel points out.  “You also wear full-length sweaters and cardigans.”

Cas continues to glare at him.

“The point is,” he says heavily.  “Is that I’m a complete geek that nobody cares about, not even Dean anymore.”

Gabriel frowns.  “Don’t say that, Cas.  He’s your best friend.”

“He was,” Cas grumbles.  “Until he got popular and starting dating someone who is also popular and now they’re the fiercest couple at school and not even the homophobic football players can touch them.” 

He leans forward, resting his head in his arms.  He’s so tired of feeling bitter, so exhausted with being filled with hatred, but it’s been four years of staying silent and letting Dean grow.  It’s been four years of staying behind and watching their friendship fall apart.  It’s been four years of learning to accept the fact that Dean will never love him the way he wants, and it sucks.  It really, really sucks. 

But talking with Gabriel, watching Dean’s rocky relationship with Benny not amount to him finally realizing how great Cas is, hearing himself say all of these things that aren’t normally part of his personality – he has to accept it.  He has to get over Dean and move on, or he’ll never be happy.

“I have a plan,” Gabriel says suddenly.

“What?” Cas asks.  “What are you talking about?”

“A plan for you to woo Dean,” Gabriel explains.  “A plan for you to reel him in and get in his pants.”

“Gabriel,” Cas hisses.  “Gabe, that’s not – no.  No, no, no, no.”

“Yes,” Gabriel says, smirking.  “Come on – earlier you said Dean and Benny are probably gonna break up any day now, right?  So this is your chance.  Make yourself known so you can be the rebound, and the rebound that sticks.”

“No,” Cas says again, shaking his head.  “No, Gabriel.  I’m not – I’m not doing that.”

“Why not?” Gabriel whines.

“Because, Dean doesn’t like me that way, and – “

“That’s what we’re going to change.”

“No, we’re not,” Cas says sternly.  “Because we can’t do that.  Dean has to do that on his own.”

“We’re just gonna help him along, then.”

“No.  Gabe, come on.  I really – I need to get over him.  I can’t force him to like me.  That’s ridiculous, and I just – I’m not going to do it.”

Gabe lets out a noise of frustration, slamming a hand down on the table.  “Cas, you don’t even know what my plan is.”

Cas reaches out, packing up his things as quickly as he can.  “And I don’t want to know,” he says.  “I don’t care.  Whatever it is – I’m not doing it, because I’m not going to try and ‘woo’ Dean.  He has a boyfriend, and he doesn’t like me.  End of story.”  He turns, heading out of the kitchen.

“No, it’s not,” Gabriel shouts after him.  “I’m calling Sam Winchester.”

“No, you’re not.”

.

.

He does.

Gabriel calls Sam Winchester and he shows up at the Milton house the next day after school, smiley and hyperactive.  Cas walks into the kitchen to find him and Gabriel at the table, and drops his bag onto the floor in muted shock.  The two of them turn at the noise, and Cas holds up a hand, backing out of the room.

“No.”

“Yes,” Gabriel says, hurrying out of his chair.

Cas turns and tries to make a run for it, but Gabriel catches him by the elbow, dragging him back.

“Listen to Sam,” he says as he throws Cas into a chair.

Cas crosses his arms, glowering at Gabriel before turning his attention to Sam.  “If you’re really going along with this, I’m severely disappointed in you, Sam Winchester.  Dean was cheated on three months ago, and I don’t think turning around and making him cheat is very fair.  And that’s only if this works.  If it doesn’t, we’re just breaking my heart all over again when I’m trying to get over him.”

“First of all,” Sam says, holding up a finger.  “We’re not making him cheat.  We’re bringing attention to the fact that you’d be a good candidate for a rebound when he and Benny break up.”

“And why are you so sure they’re going to break up?” Cas asks.

“Why are you?” Sam counters. 

Cas shakes his head, rolling his eyes.  Leave it to Gabriel and Sam to share things that are supposed to be confidential.

“Look,” Sam says, leaning forward.  “Dean and Benny have been fighting nonstop since last Wednesday.  I don’t really know what it is they’re arguing about, but it’s bad.  Dean’s been locking himself up in his room every night, refusing to talk to anyone.  And honestly, they haven’t been great since January.  I know it seemed like they made up.  But I think it was only the physical stuff they missed.  They just seem like they don’t love each other.

Benny doesn’t come around as much.  He rarely talks to me anymore.  I think that whole thing with Aaron just permanently messed them up, and they never really went back to what they were like before.  Cas, they’re gonna break up – whether they do it themselves or I do it for them.  I hate seeing Dean like this, and I can’t stand much more of it.  We need you to intervene, because – and I say this with confidence – I don’t think Benny and Dean we ever really meant for each other or anything.  I think Dean would be much better off with someone like you, and I know you’d treat him right.  I honestly – I don’t like Benny, Cas.  He’s just . . . not right for Dean.  Please, just – let us at least get the option of you out there.”

Cas sighs, throwing his head back.  He’s caught, here.  On one hand, he wants to believe what Sam is saying is the truth, but he’s still worried, still unsure.  He doesn’t want to cause any more disruption between Benny and Dean, but Sam _is_ right.  Dean deserves more, and it _is_ agonizing to see him so upset and unhappy in a relationship he should have been out of a long time ago.

“What am I going to have to do?” Cas asks, pinching the bridge of his nose.

“Look hot, basically,” Gabriel replies.  “We’re gonna put you on the market, Cas.  Make all the ladies go crazy for you, and once they go crazy, Dean will have to notice.  And hopefully, once everything’s over between him and Benny, he’ll go crazy too.”

Cas looks at him warily.  “And how are we going to do that?”

Gabriel and Sam look at each other, grinning, before an answer comes.

“A makeover.”

.

.

The day before the night of the spring formal dance, Cas feels overly anxious.  He walks through the halls with his arms crossed over his chest, paying attention to the soft warmth of his sweater before he’ll have to give it up later. 

Honestly, Cas is starting to get cold feet.  Sam and Gabriel have this elaborate plan formed out, and Cas just isn’t sure he can live up to it.  Plus, he isn’t sure at all what kind of effect this will have on Dean, what kind of response they’ll get, and he just doesn’t want this to turn out causing something terrible to happen.

He’d tried to back out last night, tried telling Gabriel that he doesn’t think it’ll do any good – maybe they should wait until after Dean and Benny are officially broken up, but Gabriel wouldn’t budge.  Apparently, Sam had called earlier that do to inform Gabriel that Dean had skipped out on a date, and they took it to mean they were in the clear.

Cas just takes that to mean this probably isn’t the best time for him to be flaunting his stuff and trying to seduce Dean.  He’d rather just talk to him, comfort him if he needs.

But that isn’t the plan, according to Gabriel, so they’re not going to do that.

They’re going to put Cas in skin-tight clothing and shove him out into a crowd of teenage girls and hope Dean catches the hint.

Trying to calm his nerves and push the dance out of his head, Cas heads into his World History class – which, of course, Dean also happens to be in.  He’s sitting in the back today, notes already out in front of him, and he looks like he’s thoroughly trying to distract himself.  Cas makes a beeline for the empty desk beside him.

“Dean,” he says quietly, and he’s surprised when Dean actually hears him and looks up.

“Huh – what?” he asks, obviously out of it.

“Are you okay?” Cas asks, looking at Dean curiously.

“Yeah, I’m fine,” Dean replies.  “Just – just a chaotic week, you know.  I really wish we would have started planning earlier for the dance.”

He sighs, and Cas nods, trying to think of the way to ask the question so that it sounds nonchalant and not anything else.  However, when he does open his mouth to carefully broach the subject of who Dean is or isn’t taking to the dance, Dean begins talking, pretty much answering Cas’ question.

“God, I wish I didn’t have to go to this stupid dance,” he mutters.  “You know, every other council member is going as part of a happy couple, and what about me, huh?  God, I just – “

“So I take it things aren’t going well?” Cas asks gently, hoping he sounds sympathetic enough.

Dean sighs heavily, pressing his hand against his forehead.  “I don’t even know.  I’m just – I can’t do anything right, I guess, and I – “

“Dean Winchester?”

Both he and Cas look up at their teacher, who’s just welcomed someone into the room.  At the sight of him, Cas groans and Dean perks up, eyes brightening.  Standing there with a bouquet of flowers and a stupid, terrible grin on his face is Benny fucking Lafitte.  Cas sinks back in his chair, crossing his arms over his chest as Benny walks forward.

He approaches Dean, bending down to the floor and placing the flowers on Dean’s desk.

“I’m sorry,” he says, reaching out and taking Dean’s hand.  “I’m sorry I didn’t trust you, and I just wanted to make it up to you, so I hope this isn’t too cheesy.”

Dean’s smiling wide as he shakes his head.  “It is, but it’s okay.”

Benny laughs.  “And I also – I wanted to ask if you’d let me take you to spring formal.”

“Of course you can,” Dean replies, and Benny pulls him into a surprise kiss. 

Dean’s obviously startled, and Cas feels his stomach churn.  Dean doesn’t like grand romantic gestures.  Dean doesn’t like someone shoving their tongue down his throat in a public, semi-professional or professional setting (he prefers bars and nightclubs and other places where there’s room to show off his current boyfriend or girlfriend).  And Cas knows that because he listens to Dean, listens to him complain about the things Benny does, like making them go out on really romantic dates at least twice a month and refusing to let Dean wear panties when they fool around.

And it’s funny, Cas thinks, that he knows Dean better than anyone else – including his boyfriend.  That he has to sit back and shut up and let Dean date this asshole who doesn’t even know what Dean wants.  Well, shit – Cas would let Dean wear panties any day if it meant he got to fuck him.  In fact, that would probably make the experience ten times better.

But no, for some unknown reason, Dean prefers Benny and his half-assed attempts at boyfriend duties and Cas is left in the dust because while it might not be obvious by the glare he gives Cas as he stands up, Benny absolutely loathes Cas, and Cas is pretty sure he’s slowly but surely taking Dean permanently away from him.  He knows that Dean’s canceled on him more than once because it was what Benny wanted, not him.

Cas glares at Benny’s backside as he leaves the classroom, wishing a plethora of horrible things upon him, and that’s it – he’s not backing out.  He’s made his decision and he’s going through with the plan tonight.  Sam is completely right.  Benny isn’t good for Dean, and the sooner Dean realizes that, the better.

.

.

“The first thing we’re getting rid of,” Anna says, swiveling Cas around in her desk chair.  “Is your glasses.”

“But – “

“You have these for a reason,” Anna interrupts, holding up a box of contacts.  “They’re not just for important track meets.  Use them.”

Cas groans, taking the box from Anna’s hand.  “I hate putting them in.”

“Get over it,” Anna says, clapping him on the shoulder.

He sighs, turning around to face the large hand mirror propped up on her desk.  He opens up two new contacts, and carefully, he puts them in, irrationally irritated by the excessive blinking and the watering eyes.

“Let me see,” Anna commands, and he looks back at her, slightly disoriented.  She smiles.  “Better already.  Next up – your eyebrows.”  She holds up a pair of tweezers, and Cas swallows hard, cursing himself for ever agreeing to this.

Noises of secondhand pain come from Anna’s bed, and Cas glances over to see Gabriel and Sam looking at him eagerly.  Of course they’re entertained by this.  When Cas is finished, the first thing he’s going to do is punch both of them.

After Cas has gone through a painful round of plucking, a ridiculous amount of shaving, and a mani-pedi, Anna finally decides he’s ready to get dressed.  A look at the clock tells him he’s been under Anna’s meticulous care for three hours, and he finally understands why it takes girls so long to get ready to go out.

For tonight, they’re delving into both Gabriel and Anna’s closets.  Cas isn’t really sure how this is all going to work out, but after this morning, he’s more than willing to try.  In the end, Anna’s got him in skintight white dress pants, obnoxiously golden Oxfords, and her own navy blue blazer.  It’s not what he would ever pick out for himself, but he has to admit he does look good.  His legs look they’re a mile long, and the shoulders of the blazer make his chest look broader. 

As a finishing touch, Anna uses project to muss up Cas’ bangs and give him what she refers to as, “a mix between artfully windblown and early-morning sex hair.”

Gabriel and Sam wolf-whistle when he steps back into Anna’s room, and they enjoy making him turn around and pose to get a good look at the masterpiece they’ve created.

“I swear to God, if Dean doesn’t jump your bones the second you walk into that gymnasium,” Gabriel mutters, shaking his head.

Cas rolls his eyes.  This isn’t about hooking up with Dean.  It’s about getting Dean’s attention long enough to show him that he has other options than forcing himself to stay with a guy who so obviously doesn’t understand what it means to be in an equal relationship.

“Alright, big guy,” Gabriel continues, clapping Cas on the back.  “We’ve got you all dressed up – I think it’s high time we take you to the ball.”

As they all pile into Gabriel’s station wagon and head on their way to the school, Cas starts growing anxious again.  He knew what he wanted hours ago, knew that he wanted more than anything to show Benny up and get him out of the picture, but now he’s not sure.  He’s having doubts again, worried by how horribly wrong this could turn out.  He’s meddling in Dean’s love life, and this is either going to end in Cas’ favor, or more likely, it’s going to end with him and Dean never speaking again.

He really, really hopes for the former.

.

.

The dance is already pumping when they arrive, people pouring into the school.  As they head in, Cas ducks and stays surrounded by his siblings and Sam, making sure no one recognizes him just yet.  They stop just before the gym doors, peering inside. 

Dean’s working by the DJ booth, heading the tech like he usually does for Student Council.  Benny’s nowhere in sight, and as it seems like the perfect opportunity, Gabriel gives him a push, urging him to head inside.

“Are you sure I should - ?”

“You look smokin’, now get the fuck inside.”

Gabriel gives him another push, and he stumbles forward.  He takes a deep breath, clearing his mind a little before he walks forward, feeling very, very out of place. 

It’s not like the movies, not like when everything goes in slow-motion and the music stops and every person in the room turns to look at him.  However, several heads do turn, and the music pumps on, but people whisper to one another, eyeing him as surreptitiously as they can.  A few jaws do drop, and Cas can feel himself sweating as a sense of panic bubbles in his throat, because oh, God – wouldn’t now be the worst time for him to trip and fall?

He doesn’t trip and fall, thankfully.  He keeps right on walking over to where Dean’s bent over one of the laptops, looking through files of music.  He looks up before Cas gets there, and – yep, that’s a double-take.  His jaw goes slack for just a second before he composes himself.  He stands up, and his eyes are wide.

“Cas?” he asks, sounding uncertain.  He coughs, clears his throat, and Cas’ heart feels like it’s going to burst out of his chest.

“Yeah,” he says breathlessly.  “Hi.  Um – “

“Wow, yeah.  You – you look great,” Dean says, scratching behind his ear and immediately blushing.  He looks around and coughs again, trying to cover it up by laughing awkwardly.

“Oh – um.  Anna – Anna helped me a little bit,” Cas says, and his throat feels terribly tight.  “It wasn’t – wasn’t a big deal.”

“Yeah,” Dean says, nodding and allowing his eyes to trail down Cas’ body.  “It looks – “

“Excuse me?”

Someone taps Cas on the shoulder, and he turns to find a girl standing there, smiling shyly.  “Hi, I was just wondering if – “

“I’m gay,” Cas blurts out, cursing himself internally once the panicked sentence leaves his lip. 

The girl looks incredibly startled in response, and she nods slowly before backing away.  Cas closes his eyes tightly, sighing heavily.  He turns back to find Dean snickering at him under his breath.

“I didn’t know what to say,” Cas says defensively.

“You could have just said, ‘no thanks’,” Dean points out.

The lights change overhead, and the song switches from one that’s upbeat to one that’s slow.  People migrate on and off the dancefloor, leaving only couples and comfortable friends left to slow dance.  Cas looks around awkwardly, waiting for Benny to show up, but he doesn’t.

Instead, Dean smiles, quirking an eyebrow, and he asks, “Would you turn me down if I asked?”

Cas bites his lip before answering, “Probably not.”

“Good,” Dean says, offering out his hand.

Cas takes it, and his heart feels like it’s trying to leap out of his throat.  They move over to the edge of the dancefloor, joining the ranks of the happy couples.  Dean rests his hands on Castiel’s waist, and carefully, Cas reaches up, wrapping his arms around Dean’s neck, pulling the two of them a little closer.

Cas has a million things on his mind, a million questions he wants to ask.  Where’s Benny?  How does their relationship stand?  Does Dean really think Cas looks good in this stupid outfit?  Is there any chance for Cas? 

But Cas doesn’t say anything.

He just watches Dean, commits to memory the way Dean looks underneath the warm lights.  His green eyes are sparkling as they turn, and his cheeks are flushed – though Cas isn’t sure if that’s from how hard he’s been working at the dance, or the blush that’s settled in them since their awkward conversation.  Dean catches his eye after awhile and smiles, and one that’s sincere, one that Cas hasn’t seen in awhile.

Cas’ heart stops beating so fiercely, and instead it starts to ache instead.  Because he wishes so hard this was real, that he was with Dean and Dean was with him and Cas wasn’t tiptoeing around, caught between his own hormones and Dean’s feelings for Benny.  As the song comes to an end, Cas’ heart sinks.

Another, more upbeat song comes on, and Cas tries to pull away, but Dean holds on.

“Just wait,” he says quietly.  “Give me another song.”

Cas laughs, looking around uncertainly.  “This isn’t a slow song, Dean.”

“I don’t care,” Dean says, shaking his head.  “Please, Cas.”

And Cas finds that he can’t move.  He can’t.  Because maybe this is it.  Maybe this is their plan falling into place.  Maybe this is where Dean realizes what Benny can’t do for him, and what Cas can.  Cas feels unsure, feels a little stupid letting these thoughts take residence in his mind, but Dean Winchester has his arms around Cas’ waist, and Cas has his around Dean Winchester’s neck, and God, he smells so good -  and wow, when did Dean’s face get so close to his?

Cas swallows hard, refusing to give into his urges.  Dean’s still in a relationship for all Cas knows, and he shouldn’t even be slow-dancing with him. 

On the other hand, Benny’s nowhere in sight –

No.

He won’t.  He’d like to, but he won’t.

Cas keeps control.  Focuses on the good, focuses on Dean’s hands around his waist, Dean’s chest pressed close to Cas’, the lazy smile on Dean’s lips.  It’s as good as he’ll ever get, and Cas is going to enjoy it, not whine that he won’t get more.

They dance until the end of the song, still slow and steady, and then two more.  By the end of their fourth consecutive song, Cas’ head is almost against Dean’s shoulder, the two of them nearly melted together.  Dean pulls himself away with a sigh, claiming that he has to get back to the other council members, and Cas doesn’t protest.  Cas knows they’ve been lucky, that if they keep going, they’re really going to press their luck with Benny.  So he says goodbye and heads off the dancefloor, finding Sam on the sidelines, talking with Jo – who appears to be his date.

“Hey,” Sam says brightly when Cas reaches him.  “We saw you and Dean out there.  It looked like it went well.”

Cas sighs, collapsing down in a seat next to Sam.  “Yeah, I – I don’t know.  I thought that Dean seemed interested, but I know I’m probably just too hopeful.”

“Well, I thought he looked interested, too,” Sam says.  “And I mean – I’m more of an outside party here, so – “

Cas offers up a half-hearted smile.  “I just honestly don’t know what’s going on with us, Sam.  I wish – I really do hope that we’re making progress, but the fact of the matter is – Dean’s in a relationship, and until he’s out of it, there’s really nothing we can do.”

“It won’t be long,”’ Sam mutters.  “We’ve established that.  So don’t count yourself out.”

Cas nods, not really convinced.  He looks up again, peering through the crowed for Anna and Gabriel, but what he finds is much worse.  It’s a sign, he thinks.  That maybe he should just give up now.  Benny seems to have finally found Dean, and is snuggling up next to him, hand firm around Dean’s waist.

He must have let out a noise of disgust, because Sam looks up suddenly, following his gaze.

“Cas – “

But he’s not listening.  He’s standing up and walking away, heading for the bathrooms before anyone can stop him. 

The air in the hall is cool, and it hits Cas in a woosh, clearing his head slightly.  Reality slaps him in the face, and he really has got to stop kidding himself.  Dean’ doesn’t fucking like him, and he never fucking will, and maybe Cas is the one who really needs to get his head out of his ass.

Cas sinks to the floor right there, having no energy to drag himself to the bathroom.  He brings his knees up to his chest and buries his face in them.  It’s stupid.  This feeling is stupid, the tears prickling the back of his eyes are stupid, this whole goddamned thing is stupid.

He never should have agreed to this.

He told Sam that this would either end in them succeeding, or this would end in Cas breaking his own heart.  And well, they obviously didn’t succeed.

.

.

Cas isn’t sure how long he stays out in the hall, but after the fifth couple staggers past him on their way to fuck somewhere secluded, he decides he better suck it up and enjoy the rest of the dance.  He drags himself up slowly and reaches for the door. 

At that exact moment, another couple comes through, but they’re not happy or giddy.  They’re fighting, taking in low tones, and Cas blushes furiously the moment he recognizes them because it’s probably not the best for him to be right here right now, obviously having been crying. 

It’s Dean and Benny, and Cas hurries through the open door before he can hear anything they’re saying.

He makes his way through the crowd inside as fast as he can, looking around desperately for Anna and Gabriel.  His breath is starting to come faster and faster, and his head is spinning dangerously –

“Cas?”

Anna grabs him by the shoulder, turning him to face her.

“Anna, what’s – Dean and Benny, what are they – ?”

“You missed it,” Anna says gleefully.  “They were hanging out on the sidelines, and then out of nowhere, Benny started yelling.  Dean was trying to get him to calm down, but it wouldn’t work and everyone started staring.  After Benny was finished with whatever he was ranting about, Dean dragged him out of here – Cas?  Cas, are you okay?  Where you have been?”

But Cas doesn’t answer.  He puts a hand on his hip and the other on his forehead, starting to pace.  “Oh, God,” he mutters.  “Everything is wrong, Anna.  Everything is going so wrong.”  He fees himself starting to hyperventilate, and does his best to calm himself down. 

“I’ve got to go, Anna.  I’ve got to go find Dean – “

He makes a move to walk away, but Anna grabs him by the elbow.

“Whoa, Cas – calm down.  What’s going on?”

“What’s going on?” Cas asks hysterically, turning around.  “Anna, I – I’m ruining Dean’s relationship.”

“That’s the whole plan,” Anna says incredulously.  “Cas, Dean needs out of this.  We all know it.  That’s why we’re breaking the two of them up, here.”

“But we can’t – we can’t meddle, that’s – “

God, Cas is starting to feel really, really dizzy.  He grabs onto Anna for support, hanging his head.

“Anna, I feel like I’m going to be sick.”

“Okay,” Anna says calmly, leading him out of the crowd.  “Take it easy, Cas.  Just take it easy.”

She pushes him down into a chair and sits down next to him.  He leans forward, putting his head in his hands, and Anna rubs his back, soothing him.

“Just give Dean some time, Cas.  He’s going to be alright.”

“No, he’s not.  I made Benny angry, and now Benny’s taking it out on him.”

“And that’s going to be the end of their relationship, Cas,” Anna says.  “And Dean won’t have to deal with things like that anymore.  This is going to turn out good in the long run, I promise you.”

“Then why do I feel so awful?” Cas lifts his head just slightly, and Anna takes that as her cue to hug him, pulling him tight against her.

“Feelings suck, that’s why,” Anna replies, and Cas wishes he could laugh.

.

.

Castiel barely has a moment to recover before Dean returns to the gym – alone.  Cas looks up the moment he walks in, and his heart twinges when he sees Dean wipe at his eyes.  He moves slightly, but then hesitates.

“Go,” Anna says, patting his arm encouragingly.  “He’s gonna need you right now.”

Cas wants to say, “It’s my fault this even happened in the first place,” but he doesn’t.  Instead, he nods silently and takes a deep breath before pushing himself up.  Dean walks past the DJ booth, saying something quick to one of the other council members working there.  The guy nods, and Dean holds up a hand before heading back the way he came.  He’s leaving.

Cas pushes through the crowed a little more aggressively, working fast to reach Dean.  He escapes just before Dean reaches the door and tears towards him.

“Dean!  Dean?!”

He stops, door halfway open, and Cas comes to a halt in front of him.

“Dean, are you okay?” he asks, just the slightest bit breathless.

“I’m fine,” Dean says hastily, but Cas doesn’t buy it.

“No, you’re not,” he says gently.  “Dean, what happened?”

“Nothing.”

“Don’t lie to me,” Cas says, and the pain is quickly turning to anger, imagining what kind of things Benny said, what kind of things he did to produce the look on Dean’s face.  “What did Benny do?”

Dean lets out a noise of frustration, which sounds much like a growl.  “Why do you assume it was Benny?  Why do you think he’s the problem here, Cas?  Why can’t it be me?”

Cas starts, taken aback by the harshness in Dean’s voice, “Dean, I was only – “

“Butting into my business?” he supplies, raising an eyebrow.  “Well, get out, Cas.  This isn’t about you.”

“When my best friend is hurt and obviously upset,” Cas counters, “then yes – it is about me.”

“Oh, fuck off,” Dean mutters, shaking his head.

“Excuse me?” Cas asks, starting to feel panicked again.  This isn’t how this night was supposed to go.  Things are going from bad to worse to worst so fast he feels like he’s being sucked into a black hole.  He really feels like he’s going to be sick.

“I know you’re just messing with me,” Dean says, leaning forward, getting right in Cas’ space.  “I know that you and Gabriel and Sam have this stupid hidden agenda going on.  I know that all of you are trying to ruin this relationship for me for your own selfish reasons.”

Yeah, Cas is definitely going to be sick.  “Dean, I – “ 

“And you know, just because you’re supposed to be my best friend – that doesn’t mean you have control over who I can and can’t date, alright?”

“Dean – “  He’s almost pleading now, so beyond desperate.

“Yeah, I know you don’t like Benny.  You’ve hated him from the moment we started dating, but I figured you could at least try to be happy for me, Cas.  I get it – he doesn’t appear to be the nicest of guys, but he’s nice to me, okay?  He means a lot to me and it fucking hurts that you can’t put aside whatever stupid rivalry you two have and just be there for me.”

“I was there for you!” Cas shouts, because that’s it.  Yeah, he was wrong, and he feels absolutely horrible about this whole thing, but he won’t be made out to be a villain, and Benny out to be a saint.  This is a two-way street, and Cas isn’t the only one with faults.  “I was there for you when he cheated on you, when he threw you aside like you didn’t matter – I was there!  I was the one who told you that you _did_ matter, that he was stupid for doing what he did, and that he didn’t deserve you, and you know what?  He still doesn’t, Dean.”

“You don’t know anything about him!” Dean retorts incredulously.

“I know that he’s hurting you!” Cas replies, almost hysterical.

“He’s not!  God, Cas, can’t you just step off for two fucking minutes and let me make the judgments about my own boyfriend?  All you know is the bad things he’s done because that’s all you pay attention to, but guess what?  He’s great.  He’s really, really great, and it sucks that you’re too blinded to see that.”

“I’m not blinded – “ Cas scoffs.

“Yes, you are.  And fuck – I don’t even know why you two hate each other so much, you know that?  I’m not even worth it, goddamnit.  Why do people like being fought over?  Why do they think it’s fun?  It’s not.  It’s fucking terrible to have two people you care about butting heads all the time – especially when you don’t even know what either of them see in you.  And then you’ve got to deal with the fact that you’re disappointing both of them.  One’s mad because you don’t love him the way he wants.  And the other’s mad because he thinks you’re cheating on him.  Well, you know what?  Now, I’m not dating either of you, so I hope you’re both fucking happy.”

Dean turns, storming out of the room.  However, not before Cas sees the angered look on his face crumple into one of sadness and severe disappointment.  He leaves, and Cas watches, half completely shell-shocked, half heartbroken.

.

.

In hindsight, it was probably really stupid to trust Gabriel with the alcohol.  He really did nothing to try and stop Cas from drowning himself in bottles of beer and wine coolers.  And now it’s eleven o’clock on Saturday morning and Cas is waking up to the worst headache he’s ever had in his life and there’s a terrible taste in his mouth.  He looks around, squinting against the light, and he finds that he’s on the floor of the bathroom, still dressed in the ridiculous clothes he wore to the dance.

Slowly, everything starts to come back to him, and Cas groans as his stomach turns.  He lifts himself up over the toilet bowl, and shit – he really needs to talk to Dean. 

Once the light isn’t so blinding, and Cas can stand confidently on his feet without risking falling flat on his face, he digs his phone out of his pocket.  He doesn’t even think twice before dialing Dean’s number.  He’s going to be in agony until they work this out, and he’s not going to waste time beating around the bush, letting this whole thing fester.

Thankfully, Dean’s thinking the same way, and he doesn’t ignore Cas.  He answers on the fourth ring with a shy, “Hi, Cas.”

“Hello, Dean,” he replies.  “I think we need to talk.”

“Meet me at the usual place?”

“Of course.”

There’s a café downtown, right next to the park, and Dean and Cas spend most of their study dates there, talking about dumb shit for the first three hours and then cramming until curfew.  Dean’s already there by the time Cas arrives, sitting at the table in the corner they’ve always designated as their own. 

“You look like shit,” Dean remarks.

“I feel like it too,” Cas replies, taking the seat across from him.

“Still in that damn outfit,” Dean says with a chuckle.

It’s the laugh that breaks him, and then Cas is chuckling too, his smile hurting his tired face.  He heaves a sigh after the fit is gone, and then looks Dean right in the eye, shaking his head. 

“Dean, I’m – I’m so sorry,” he says quietly.  “It was so wrong of me to try and intervene in your relationship, and God, I’ve just – I’ve been such an awful friend.  I know I’ve been jealous of Benny, and I know that’s kept me from being the friend you need, and I’m just – I’m so sorry.”

“You don’t need to be,” Dean says, drumming his hand against the table slowly, and he cuts Cas off when he tries to retort.  “Before you go and throw yourself under the bus, let me explain something to you.”

Cas closes his mouth, reluctant, and gives Dean all of his attention.

“Benny and I – our relationship has never been very healthy.  And it’s not his fault,” Dean adds pointedly.  “Benny, he’s really cared about me, Cas.  He’s done so many things for me I can’t even begin to explain, and I really think he loves me.  But the thing is – “  Dean breaks off, taking a deep breath.  “ – I never loved him, Cas.  I only dated him because I wanted to distract myself.  I dated him because I needed to get over someone.”

Cas feels his eyebrows knit together, and he stares at Dean for a long moment, not entirely understanding the words leaving his mouth.

“I needed to get over _you_.”

It takes Cas a long moment to understand it.  The words twist around in his mind, and no matter which way he spins them, they don’t make sense.

“What?”

Dean heaves a sigh, smiling to himself.  “Cas, I – I like you.  God – “ he laughs slightly, awkwardly.  “I’ve liked you for a long fucking time.”

“What?” Cas repeats, and he feels like he’s suffocating.  “Dean!  Why – Dean, why didn’t you say anything?”

“I didn’t think you liked me,” Dean says defensively.  “I figured if you did, you would have made the first move.  This summer – every day we hung out, I prayed it would finally be the day you asked me out, and you never did.  And then Benny, he – well, he didn’t mess around.  He liked me, and he wanted me, and I was tired of feeling so disappointed, so I went out with him.”

Cas puts his face in his hands, his shoulders shaking with something between repressed laughter and repressed sobbing.  “Oh my God,” he mutters.

“And, well – when he cheated on me in January, he – he kind of had good reason to.”

Cas feels a sudden burst of _“no”,_ but he listens anyway. 

“You see, one night while we were – while we were having sex, I kind of – oh, god I don’t even know how to say this, but – I said your name, Cas.  I came, and I said your name, and Benny – well, he took that to mean that I was cheating on him, and so, I guess in a way, he was just trying to get back at me.  I mean I wasn’t technically cheating on him, but I didn’t love him.  I was leading him on, and I was still in love with you.”

Cas doesn’t even know what to say.  He knows that he’s blushing furiously, that Dean is looking at him right now, and Cas still has his head in his hands, still has no way of forming any sort of coherent thought in response to any of this.  So, carefully, Dean continues.

“Recently, it was getting bad again.  I – I kept looking at you during class and at lunch, and Benny was starting to get uncomfortable again, and I – I felt bad, but it’s not like I can control how I feel, I just – “  he lets out a sigh.  “I tried, I did.  I tried to stop liking you, to start liking Benny, but nothing ever worked, and Benny knew that.  We just kept fighting, kept trying to make things work when we knew they never would and then last night – Benny, he – he saw us, Cas.  He was hurt, and angry, and I was so mad at myself, and I decided then and there that we couldn’t keep pretending, and I ended it.”

He finishes, and a silence hangs between them.  Cas heard the whole story – he knows what Dean said, he understood everything Dean confessed to him, but he just _doesn’t understand_.  He can’t wrap his head around the fact that all of this trouble could have been avoided if he had just fucking grown a pair. 

Sighing heavily, Cas lowers his head and dares to look at Dean.  He presses his lips together, shaking his head just slightly.  He opens his mouth, tries to come up with the right words, the right thing to say to make this all easier on them, but he can’t come up with anything.

“Cas?” Dean prompts.  “Cas, please say something.  I feel like I’m going to throw up.”

Cas nods to himself, wondering briefly if he’s confident enough to do this.  It takes a second, and he decides, _fuck it_.  Cas leans across the table, propping himself up on top of it with one hand, using the other to cup Dean’s face as he kisses him hard, putting every pent-up feeling into it he can.

When he pulls away, they’re both breathless.  Dean’s shocked – until he sees that Cas is smiling, then he smiles too.  Cas looks at him, sees how much brighter he looks than the night before and he just really can’t believe his luck.

“Did you seriously not know I’ve been in love with you for – years now?”

Dean laughs, ducking his head.  “I guessed last night that _maybe_ you finally did like me, but no – I didn’t know that until now.”

“You’re an idiot,” Cas mutters hastily, before moving back in for me, Dean coming up to meet him.


End file.
